I Saw Her Standing There: Part 4

As I slid the folded paper back into my pocket, the pastor asked for her vows. Her sister, standing closely behind her, reached out with the handwritten vows, passed them to her, and she read:
I can't remember the first time I saw you. Some people have a clear memory of the first time they met the one they love, but not me. I'd like to think it's because in some way, somehow, you were with me all along. In second grade when my mom dressed me up like a bride. Junior high, when boys were scared to ask me to dance, did they know I was destined for a better guy than they were going to be, so they gave up right there on the spot? The moments I had in high school with my dad consistently proving to me what a man is, and who a man is. Teaching me to be patient. All of it was for you and without my dad's wisdom, I may not have recognized you. But I know you. You are a good man. I can see where God is shaping you not to be just any husband, but my husband. And that's why I am so confident in our relationship. God is and will be our foundation, our rock, our shelter, and our source of strength no matter what good things, bad things, sad things, great things, memorable or forgettable things we encounter from here on. And second to the Lord, I will count on you to be my strength. To be my shield. You've proven to me your love, and don't need to prove it anymore because I'll see your love every day in the way you live. When you love my family, you love me. When you love children, you love me. And if you love to laugh, you love me. If you love compassion and humility, you love me. But if you don't love Jesus, you don't love me. However, I know the proof of our love is this day. These rings. The ceremony and the vows we're taking in front of God. In front of my family, yours, and our friends, I give you my undying faith, my love, and my life. You have the best of me and as if it ever needs to be said, I am yours. From the moment I walked in here, no, from the moment I was born, I was made for you. I just wish you would've found me sooner, because then I could have loved you longer! But for the rest of our life together, I look forward to loving you well.

I Saw Her Standing There: Part 3

I didn't know when I first saw you all that would come of our relationship. I didn't know how any girl after you just plain missed the mark, unable to achieve the height of the bar you set. I didn't know the road I'd take and that this road... it didn't include you yet. You were my friend. And that was all. Meanwhile we both tried to make other relationships work that ended without success. And our friendship grew. Our roads slowly came closer. As if we were driving in a heavily wooded forest, only noticing the trees around us and not getting glimpses of each other through the blurring forest. Had I known how this story would go, I may have done things differently. I may have thought a little more about where the road was going. And thought less about the trees I saw because they were actually hiding the whole picture. God made us for each other. That's the masterpiece. And once we both saw that what God had designed was good and was here, well there was no turning back. And now as I stand in front of you, I want to be everything you need me to be as a husband. When you need to cry, I'll get the tissues. When you need to laugh, I'll try to be funny. When you just need a shoulder to rest on, I'll wear multiple layers. When you want to be crazy, I'll scream in public with you. If you need to wrestle, I'll be Hacksaw Jim Duggan. If you need the truth, I'll open up the Bible. If you want to sing, I'll be your audience. If you want to walk around, I'll put on my shoes, too. If you're hungry, I'll cook dinn-- I'll go pick up some Mexican food. If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you want to listen, I'll talk. If you want a challenge, I'll race you. If you feel unpretty, I'll read poems I wrote about you. If you feel unloved, I'll hug you and tell you I love you. If you need your space, I'll be gone. If you need to have fun, I'll take you to the beach. I'll do my best to be what you need and what you want. The problem is, I will fail. As hard as I'll ever try to be perfect for you, I cannot be. I will make you mad. I will annoy you. I'll do things you don't expect. I'll get frustrated and have a hard time explaining why. I will never love you as much or as good as God does. But even in my failed attempts, there are two things you can count on: one, that Jesus is our life and two, I love you like the ocean. I am not perfect, but our marriage will be with the Lord's help and blessing. I am your husband. I know you love me and I love you so much. There is nothing in your past that scares me, nothing that makes me doubt your love for me. And because of that, I trust you with the rest of my life and you can trust me with the rest of yours. You are safe with me, and when you feel like you're up against the world, know that they'll have to go through me to get to you. I promise to love you when it's easy. To love you when it's hard. To love you when you expect it, and when you least expect it. I am your husband. You are free to let your guard down and be yourself. You've proven to me that God is most important to you, and I hope I've proven the same. And with my commitment to God, I also commit myself to you. It will never be me versus you, but from now on it's us versus them. And I can't imagine ever being happier about that than I am right now. Can't wait to take on the world with you, to live the rest of my life with you, my best friend. I love you.

And this is what I read aloud when the pastor asked for my vows.

I Saw Her Standing There: Part 2

(a continuation from part one)

You should know, I've thought about this day for a while now. But not the way that most people look forward to a wedding day. Or the way she has been thinking of it. Yes, it's a memorable day and a once in a lifetime event. It will be exciting and full of happiness, but all I can think of is standing in front of so many people. My college public speaking class did little to calm my fear of being on stage, with other humans staring at me. That's what concerns me most about this day. What if I trip? Why are they all staring at us? Am I sweating? Do I smell? Is there something on my face?

At least the masses of people are looking at the bridesmaids as they walk down the aisle. This provides me with some relief. I attempt to loosen my collar with no real success. Who tied this tie so tight? Can someone turn the A/C down a few degrees, please? Do I have the right shoes on? Is my zipper down? And why is one my groomsmen wearing a navy blue Ann Klein dress suit?

These are all valid questions, and I hope to have the answers to most of them at some point. Meanwhile, I acknowledge to myself that it is a nice dress suit noting that the shoulder pads definitely add a sense of power and authority. But why navy blue? Black would have complimented the shoulder pads better.

And then I see her standing there.

As sudden as lightning strikes, all the counter-attacks I had planned for my nerves are useless because it's her. All I feel is love. All I hear is music. And all I know is this is right and good. The tuxedo I once feared would make me a sweaty mess is now the only hope I have for holding together, it not letting me explode in joy and happiness (which I hope it does because I cannot afford to pay the penalty fee for this suit!). Can she see how excited I am that she's about to be my wife? I wonder if she knows that I have no idea what I'm doing? (I'm sure her father suspects this). I've never been a husband before. But there's one thing I do know, that I love her, gosh, I love her. I'm so glad she isn't a runaway bride. If I can just get her hand in mine, I'll be able to keep her from running, but her dad is taking forever to get her down the aisle. I understand you're emotional, sir, but let's get a move on. Grandma in the front row is getting anxious about the early bird buffet special at Golden Corral.

The bagpipe player concludes as this bride and her father reach the front of the aisle. And in a moment of silence, we hear 3 bells ring. Once for the past: our lives before we knew each other, honoring how God was preparing us all along. The second bell rings for the present: the time we've spent with each other up to this point. Finding out that God indeed does have good things in store for us even right now. The third bell is for the future: the celebration of a new life together, one that we will now face as a team. The ups and downs, the twists and turns, all of it together.

The minister asks for a response from the bride's father, who then lifts her veil, gives her a kiss on the cheek and puts her hand in mine. And here begins the marriage that no power will ever separate. With a connection that I've never known before, we hold hands and I'm reminded of the first time I saw her, only a few years earlier...

come back September 1 for part 3!