I Saw Her Standing There: Part 4

As I slid the folded paper back into my pocket, the pastor asked for her vows. Her sister, standing closely behind her, reached out with the handwritten vows, passed them to her, and she read:
I can't remember the first time I saw you. Some people have a clear memory of the first time they met the one they love, but not me. I'd like to think it's because in some way, somehow, you were with me all along. In second grade when my mom dressed me up like a bride. Junior high, when boys were scared to ask me to dance, did they know I was destined for a better guy than they were going to be, so they gave up right there on the spot? The moments I had in high school with my dad consistently proving to me what a man is, and who a man is. Teaching me to be patient. All of it was for you and without my dad's wisdom, I may not have recognized you. But I know you. You are a good man. I can see where God is shaping you not to be just any husband, but my husband. And that's why I am so confident in our relationship. God is and will be our foundation, our rock, our shelter, and our source of strength no matter what good things, bad things, sad things, great things, memorable or forgettable things we encounter from here on. And second to the Lord, I will count on you to be my strength. To be my shield. You've proven to me your love, and don't need to prove it anymore because I'll see your love every day in the way you live. When you love my family, you love me. When you love children, you love me. And if you love to laugh, you love me. If you love compassion and humility, you love me. But if you don't love Jesus, you don't love me. However, I know the proof of our love is this day. These rings. The ceremony and the vows we're taking in front of God. In front of my family, yours, and our friends, I give you my undying faith, my love, and my life. You have the best of me and as if it ever needs to be said, I am yours. From the moment I walked in here, no, from the moment I was born, I was made for you. I just wish you would've found me sooner, because then I could have loved you longer! But for the rest of our life together, I look forward to loving you well.

I Saw Her Standing There: Part 3

I didn't know when I first saw you all that would come of our relationship. I didn't know how any girl after you just plain missed the mark, unable to achieve the height of the bar you set. I didn't know the road I'd take and that this road... it didn't include you yet. You were my friend. And that was all. Meanwhile we both tried to make other relationships work that ended without success. And our friendship grew. Our roads slowly came closer. As if we were driving in a heavily wooded forest, only noticing the trees around us and not getting glimpses of each other through the blurring forest. Had I known how this story would go, I may have done things differently. I may have thought a little more about where the road was going. And thought less about the trees I saw because they were actually hiding the whole picture. God made us for each other. That's the masterpiece. And once we both saw that what God had designed was good and was here, well there was no turning back. And now as I stand in front of you, I want to be everything you need me to be as a husband. When you need to cry, I'll get the tissues. When you need to laugh, I'll try to be funny. When you just need a shoulder to rest on, I'll wear multiple layers. When you want to be crazy, I'll scream in public with you. If you need to wrestle, I'll be Hacksaw Jim Duggan. If you need the truth, I'll open up the Bible. If you want to sing, I'll be your audience. If you want to walk around, I'll put on my shoes, too. If you're hungry, I'll cook dinn-- I'll go pick up some Mexican food. If you want to talk, I'll listen. If you want to listen, I'll talk. If you want a challenge, I'll race you. If you feel unpretty, I'll read poems I wrote about you. If you feel unloved, I'll hug you and tell you I love you. If you need your space, I'll be gone. If you need to have fun, I'll take you to the beach. I'll do my best to be what you need and what you want. The problem is, I will fail. As hard as I'll ever try to be perfect for you, I cannot be. I will make you mad. I will annoy you. I'll do things you don't expect. I'll get frustrated and have a hard time explaining why. I will never love you as much or as good as God does. But even in my failed attempts, there are two things you can count on: one, that Jesus is our life and two, I love you like the ocean. I am not perfect, but our marriage will be with the Lord's help and blessing. I am your husband. I know you love me and I love you so much. There is nothing in your past that scares me, nothing that makes me doubt your love for me. And because of that, I trust you with the rest of my life and you can trust me with the rest of yours. You are safe with me, and when you feel like you're up against the world, know that they'll have to go through me to get to you. I promise to love you when it's easy. To love you when it's hard. To love you when you expect it, and when you least expect it. I am your husband. You are free to let your guard down and be yourself. You've proven to me that God is most important to you, and I hope I've proven the same. And with my commitment to God, I also commit myself to you. It will never be me versus you, but from now on it's us versus them. And I can't imagine ever being happier about that than I am right now. Can't wait to take on the world with you, to live the rest of my life with you, my best friend. I love you.

And this is what I read aloud when the pastor asked for my vows.

We met online

I'm curious what people think about how social websites (MySpace, Facebook) and even dating websites (eHarmony, Match) have changed and shaped how relationships are formed and built. I have participated in 3 of the mentioned websites and my conclusion is this: relationships have gotten wider and shallower. You can have a relationship with someone you've never seen, never touched, and never spoken to with your actual voice. It's so strange if you think about it, and 20, or even 10 years ago this type of relationship would have seemed extraordinary. And now it's common. 34% of people in dating relationships admit they first communicated through a social website before ever meeting in person, 78% of those used Facebook or MySpace, 19% used eHarmony or Match, and 3% used other sites. Ok, I just made all of that up. But my point is that those percentages didn't shock you did they? Online, potentially superficial, relationships are so common. But when does all this connectivity begin to wear thin? Will there ever be a point when technology can't get any more direct? I'm sure people were asking the same thing 20 years ago, and look how far it has progressed since then! But really? How much closer can we get to people and yet still be a million miles away? With cell phones and Facebook and now Twitter and all these other ways to tell people what is going on with you, do we even need to see anybody in real life anymore? We can just continue updating our sites, having our friends and family watch us go through life on the computer screen. How sad it would be if we became so well-connected to people that we didnt need to see them anymore! Well, I, for one, am making a commitment to not be that well-connected any longer. The first step I took months ago was to close my MySpace account. More recently, I changed the privacy settings on my Facebook page. And I'm trying to be better at calling people instead of simply texting. Why make these changes?

1. Not everything I do is meant for everybody to see and/or know about. A little mystery never hurt anybody, right?

2. If you want to know what's going on with me, ask me in person (or I'll let you buy me lunch and I'll tell you anything you want to know!), or call me!

3. A real life conversation is more than just the exchanging of information, it's being with somebody, it's seeing a person express their joy or emotion when they are speaking about something they love or some circumstance they found themselves in. And also allowing that person to watch me while I talk about who knows what (I come from a family of talkers)

So as I think about scaling back my involvement on these sites (Facebook), it's not because I don't like the site, I think Facebook is a great way to keep in touch with people, show pictures and videos, basically an enriched email, if you will, but I crave real relationships. Live and in person. In the past week I realized how great it is to be with people, and as a loner, that's a pretty big realization. Don't get me wrong, I still love my alone time, but as far as relationships go, I need them to be real, not technified. This past Friday night, I attended an outdoor birthday party and got so much joy out of hanging out with friends, and for about an hour I sat in the grass and just watched everyone talking and playing music and laughing and singing. The memorable part was seeing that it doesnt take money or fancy locations or big events to enjoy each other. The next night I was at my friend Dean's condo as he worked on depopcorning his cieling and it was so much fun to be there with him and Sarah. Not sure I could've depopcorned all night like he wanted to (thanks for showing up Merilee, Wendi, and Sarah) but we had a fun time with each other as we worked. So I will end with this extremely wise statement that I will forever be remembered for:

Relationships are about people, dorkwad! So get in 'em, stay in 'em and call somebody!

But seriously, I challenge you to get less-connected on the computer, and go see a friend or call them.